It's Show Time!

The prestigious Annapolis Kennel Club dog show was last Sunday and let me give you one guess how Ms. Alpha mapped out my day.

But more about Moi and my VICTORY another day.

I thought it would be far more interesting to take you back stage at a dog show. Actually, there is no stage as such...there are many rings surrounded by the grooming areas. Here's how it works: about 10 adjacent rings are set up in the middle of a big building. At any one time, many different breeds are being judged simultaneously in their respective rings. Usually, a certain ring will be set aside for a certain group: working, toy, herding, sporting, non-sporting, hound, terrier and the miscellaneous class. Some of those names seem a little odd to me. For instance, do non-sporting dogs just lay about? Why can't I play with a toy dog like it's a stuffie? And are miscellaneous dogs, like, whatever?

It's kind of interesting when we herding types get in the ring together. We must all line up, just like everyone else. And then we have to go around the ring, following the leader. Let me tell you—this is so totally contrary to our nature. Hello! We are herding dogs and want to put anything with a heartbeat in a tight little corner! We have to stride around the ring "with purpose". I guess that means we have to trot like we're on a mission and have an actual job to do. My little trick is to visualize an actual sheep loose in the ring. That makes me trot quickly—not run or gallop—"with an economy of movement", my head down, my tail strung out behind me and looking like I'm all business. And true to Fenway's star quality, I grin from ear-to-ear, just like Mickey Mouse. Ya gotta play up to the judge and crowd, too!

Here's a little photo tour of what goes on before the actual show time. Basically it's hours (about 2 at least!) of washing, combing, fluffing, clipping, filing, blow drying, primping, picking, trimming, spraying and brushing. It was a little more demanding than usual because the weather turned drizzly and the grounds were muddy. Horrors! for the groomers who work to keep us tidy, shiny and glowing.

The lovely Standard Poodle is making her entrance!

Notice how her pom-poms are tightly wound up

in rubber bands, ready to be sprung into shape.

Piece by piece, this poodle's flamboyance

is coaxed into perfection.

I'd say Lady Gaga got nothin' on her!

This poodle is tied, coiled, and wrapped

like a sailboat's rigging.

More from the Poodle Grooming Central—

Since their primping takes like, forever,

the poodles have special chin resting pillows

so they can endure the endless boredom.

This boy looks like he's about to snap.

I just haven NO words for this.

It's beyond my comprehension.

And, get this, the dog doesn't seem to mind!

Would someone please throw him a frisbee?

This poodle didn't move for 15 straight minutes!

The Scottie's beard and chest fur fall like a curtain.

I thought these two shifty looking hounds were conspiring a getaway.

Happy dog, happy owner!

Do you think they kind of look alike?

I'd say they were separated at birth!

Yes, this spaniel's fur is real. No Photoshopping, either!

I think she looks a bit like Pipi Longstocking

with those ear things.

I think I mentioned the endless washing and soaking.

You would not believe the level of detail

for just our paws! Even our pawpads must be sparkling!

The results: perfection after about 2 hours.

It's a confection of bangs, ponytails, and whiskers,

all set off by the cutest little pointy ears.

Could he be mistaken for a stuffie?

I've heard Bedlington's are the hardest dogs to groom.

They must be shaped and brushed out like topiaries.

Our pal Rudy the Bedlington has been through this 

and he's a Champion!

I interviewed this fellow and asked if

he was related to Maggie & Mitch!

This is my friend who is in the Junior Handler's program. It's a really great activity for kids and they learn all the skills and tricks about showing dogs. Some of them are so good that they will be going to Westminster. It's a great way for kids to learn responsibility, a skill, movement, and pride. Just look how good she is with her dog, who obviously adores her. They got first place in their group and finished very well in the final showdown.

That's it, folks. So next time there's a dog show in your area, tell your humans to go watch. They can meet all sorts of dogs, groomers, handlers and even judges. Everyone is super friendly and will gab endlessly about their dogs. It's real looney-tunes, but in a totally good way! Plus there are vendors who sell everything under the sun for and about dogs. Did you know your human can buy socks with dogs on them that look just like you?